All snarkiness aside, we would like to take a serious moment to express to you how this journey has transformed the way we view VitaminWater, for we have learned how critically important it is to have a critical eye as a consumer, especially when it comes to a product that enters our body. This concludes our journey. For those of you who texted start or stop, thank you for abandoning your ignorance and being active participants who now understand the importance of being self-informed. Once you have defined healthy for you personally, you are free to leave. Please watch your step and refrain from returning your goggles, as you will need these even more in the real world, which holds intense visual input that even your clever commentators cannot predict. Men, we must say, your silence has been golden. For the rest of you who have remained passive even after being informed, please remain in line for a second, complementary round of VitaminWater: Appearance v. Reality. This time we promise to spell it out for you in an even snarkier fashion— if it is humanly possible.
